{"id":2413,"date":"2019-09-25T23:27:40","date_gmt":"2019-09-25T23:27:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/?p=2413"},"modified":"2019-10-07T15:34:01","modified_gmt":"2019-10-07T15:34:01","slug":"magic-trick","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/2019\/09\/25\/magic-trick\/","title":{"rendered":"Magic Trick"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Our mother was a magician. She performed on stage and everything. She was brilliant. One day we came home from school and she had bricked herself up in the chimney.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m in here,&#8221; she said cheerily.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What are you doing in there,&#8221; I said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Hiding,&#8221; she replied.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;From who?&#8221; I asked.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Everyone,&#8221; she said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;How did you get in there, anyway?&#8221; Jane asked. &#8220;It&#8217;s tiny in there.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Jane knew that cause once she&#8217;d crawled in the fireplace and pushed her head up there looking for fairies, and she&#8217;d almost got her head stuck.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It was a bit of a squeeze,&#8221; Mum admitted. <\/p>\n<p>She must have done some impressive contortions to slide herself up there. I could see Jane looking up and down the wall, imagining Mum&#8217;s body all stretched out up the pipe, standing on tiptoes, her arms pointing right up to heaven. <\/p>\n<p>This still didn&#8217;t explain how she&#8217;d bricked up the fireplace behind her, but then Mum never did like explaining her tricks. She said it&#8217;d spoil them.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Now go outside and watch this,&#8221; she told us, and we went and sat in the garden and waited. Eventually there was a puff of smoke, and a great fat pigeon flew out of the chimney pot and fluttered away across the street.<\/p>\n<p>Two weeks later child protection arrived, and we&#8217;ve been in the orphanage ever since. They&#8217;re still looking for Dad.<\/p>\n<p>__________<\/p>\n<p>Notes:<\/p>\n<p>1. <em>Written on August 8th, 2019<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br><h3><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/davidguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3><i>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my <a href=\"https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/davidguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">patreon<\/a> or my <a href=\"https:\/\/ko-fi.com\/davidnguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/davidguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(<a href=\"https:\/\/ko-fi.com\/davidnguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our mother was a magician. She performed on stage and everything. She was brilliant. One day we came home from school and she had bricked herself up in the chimney. &#8220;I&#8217;m in here,&#8221; she said cheerily. &#8220;What are you doing in there,&#8221; I said. &#8220;Hiding,&#8221; she replied. &#8220;From who?&#8221; I asked. &#8220;Everyone,&#8221; she said. &#8220;How [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[83,768,162],"class_list":["post-2413","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-short-story-or-two","tag-horror","tag-magic-tricks","tag-short-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2413","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2413"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2413\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2424,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2413\/revisions\/2424"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2413"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2413"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2413"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}