{"id":1098,"date":"2018-10-07T14:38:07","date_gmt":"2018-10-07T14:38:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/?p=1098"},"modified":"2023-03-03T13:44:26","modified_gmt":"2023-03-03T13:44:26","slug":"sxfx","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/2018\/10\/07\/sxfx\/","title":{"rendered":"SXFX"},"content":{"rendered":"

Iconic British science fiction magazine SXFX celebrates its 23rd anniversary later this year, so here\u2019s a quick look back at some of the articles from the rarely seen and much sought after first issue.<\/em><\/p>\n

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***<\/center><\/p>\n

Tankbuster (pages 18\u201327)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Since 1988, Tank Girl and Jet Girl have been tearing up British comics with their full frontal assault on good taste, decorum, and anything else that stands in their way of a good time. On the set of the hotly anticipated film adaptation in Australia, Esmerelda Brautigan meets up with the film\u2019s co-stars Naomi Watts and Lori Petty, who prove to be every bit as irrepressible as the characters they\u2019re portraying onscreen.<\/em><\/p>\n

Since its first appearance as a throwaway page filler in Deadline in 1988, Tank Girl<\/em> has been an unexpected phenomenon, going from underground indie comic hit to sudden mainstream sensation within little over a year, and then barrelling forward with an ever-increasing sense of momentum ever since. And now Tank Girl<\/em> mania has perhaps reached its culmination with the imminent release of the big-budgeted, long-awaited, Hollywood film adaptation. On its release last month in America it broke several box office records, and all the early indications are that it\u2019s going to do the same when it releases here in the UK this month.<\/p>\n

When I meet with the film\u2019s two standout stars, Lori Petty (Tank Girl) and Naomi Watts (Jet Girl), it\u2019s the very last day of scheduled re-shoots for the film, but even then the sense that this was going to be something big was nigh-on unshakeable. It\u2019s a blisteringly hot day outside in this deserted part of New Mexico, and we\u2019re all huddled up in a trailer, trying, desperately, to keep ourselves cool with bottles of beer from the fridge.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re not even supposed to be<\/em> here,\u201d Lori moans. \u201cThis was supposed to be finished months ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomeone forgot to film the climax, or something,\u201d Naomi explains. \u201cLike, they literally forgot to turn on the camera.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere was talk they could fill in the gap with a cartoon,\u201d Lori sneers. \u201cImagine that\u200a\u2014\u200aa fucking cartoon instead of the end of the film.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut luckily the artist hurt his wrist.\u201d Naomi mimes a rude gesture.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd so here we are. Back in the tank.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/center><\/p>\n

The plot of the movie revolves around a quest for justice in the arid wastelands of post-apocalyptic Australia, an odyssey that leads ultimately onto a showdown with the nefarious warlord Kessel, played by Terrance Stamp (who has, for reasons best known to himself, refused to do any publicity for this movie). But the plot, truth be told, is fairly irrelevant, and what we get instead is a fast-paced series of often disconnected set-pieces, vignettes, interludes, and Saturday morning cartoon-style segments, and this energetic melange<\/em> creates an atmosphere of free-wheeling anarchism that perfectly captures the essence of the characters. A flat, standard A to B plot just wouldn\u2019t have cut it.<\/p>\n

A point with which Tank Girl herself agrees.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the things that I loved about the script was that it just went straight in there\u200a\u2014\u200aBANG\u200a\u2014\u200aand got going and never let up,\u201d blasts Lori. \u201cThere\u2019s no backstory explaining exactly how and why the world\u2019s all fucked up, no tedious explanation about how she got her tank-\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just\u200a\u2014\u200aBLAM\u200a\u2014\u200athe world is<\/em> fucked up!\u201d Naomi cuts in excitedly. \u201cBOOM\u200a\u2014\u200a\u2018yeah, this tank? We stole it\u2019. That\u2019s all you need. None of this\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

She waves her hands around until eventually Lori Petty finishes her thought for her.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026this fucking drip-drip-drip of story. Just fucking getting into it\u200a\u2014\u200aa couple of girls in the desert with their heavy artillery and their \u2018fuck you\u2019 attitude.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot even \u2018fuck you\u2019! \u2018Fuck EVERYONE!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd we do!\u201d shouts Lori, and the whole room collapses into dirty giggles.<\/p>\n

*<\/center><\/p>\n

Booga:<\/strong> \u201cWhere in the hell did you get a tank?\u201d
\nTank Girl:<\/strong> \u201cStole it!\u201d
\nBooga:<\/strong> \u201cAnd\u2026 a plane!?\u201d
\nJet Girl:<\/strong> \u201cBuilt it!\u201d
\nBooga: \u201cI\u2019m not even going to ask where that sub came from.\u201d
\nSub Girl:<\/strong> \u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/center><\/p>\n

The look of the film, and especially the costumes, is one of the most striking aspects of the movie, and one of the things Lori and Naomi are both especially pleased with.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe thing is, if a guy made this\u200a\u2014\u200aand I\u2019ve nothing against guys, obviously, I\u2019ve met some nice ones, you know?\u200a\u2014\u200abut if a guy made this, they\u2019d get the look of it wrong. It\u2019d just be them playing dress-up, getting us to put all these outfits on for their<\/em> fucking pleasure. Whereas this\u200a\u2014\u200athere\u2019s like a hundred odd costume changes the pair of us go through in the film\u200a\u2014\u200a\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c150, if you count Sub Girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah but she got cut, didn\u2019t she? Cut. The fuck. OUT!\u201d They both laugh at this for a while, before Lori gets back to the point she was making. \u201cThere\u2019s a million costumes and outfits but they\u2019re our fucking costumes, you know. Our fucking outfits. We look great but we look great for us. We could care less whether all these fucking men in the wasteland\u200a\u2014\u200ain the audience<\/em>\u200a\u2014\u200afind us sexy.\u201d<\/p>\n

She pauses for breath and then continues. \u201cRachel [Talalay, the director] did a great job. She could easily have made us look like all these tired old male fantasies you\u2019re used to seeing on screen, toys for our boys\u2026 Actually, can you imagine the merchandise for this. Tiny little figurines with interchangeable rocket bras. An accessory pack full of dildos!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSome sort of Punk barbie nightmare,\u201d agrees Naomi.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy Little Anarchist!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSex-bomb Sindy!\u201d<\/p>\n

Me and Naomi both laugh at this one but Lori remains quizzically silent.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho the fuck is Sindy?\u201d she demands<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s like Barbie. But better obviously,\u201d Naomi explains. \u201cMaybe you had to grow up in Wales\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you were fucking Australian?!\u201d They both glare at each other for a second, and then burst out laughing once more. \u201cAnyway, I don\u2019t think Mattel wanted to produce any Tank Girl toys, the useless fucking fucks.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/center><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a scene in this movie where Tank Girl and Jet Girl infiltrate a 1920s art-deco style brothel in the wastelands that culminates in a great Broadway-style singalong, and which for many exemplifies the strengths of the film.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe wanted to undercut that whole macho fucking culture of old rock, even of punk. All that shitty stuff, you know, getting groped at gigs, groupies, all that fucking shit. Iggy Pop was desperate to be in this film, and everyone was like, \u2018Yeah, well there\u2019s this part you\u2019d be perfect for\u2019 and it\u2019s as a paedophile<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIggy was well up for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell of course he was. I don\u2019t think he understood the joke,\u201d Lori says seriously. \u201cHe wanted to be on the soundtrack too, but Courtney said \u2018Nah! No cocks on the soundtrack.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think he got that joke either,\u201d says Naomi. \u201cIf it even was a joke.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/center><\/p>\n

Indeed, the Tank Girl film has an incredible soundtrack [see box-out overleaf] put together by Grunge superstar Courtney Love, and for Lori Petty, getting to meet one of her heroes was a highlight of the entire production.<\/p>\n

\u201cHanging out with Courtney was so much fucking fun! It was back in pre-production, in London, that we met her. She took us to Glastonbury [Editor\u2019s Note<\/em>\u200a\u2014\u200ait was actually Reading] and it was so exciting. She beat up this one guy for wearing a t-shirt that said \u2018Not sleeping around.\u2019 It was hi-lar-i-ous. \u2018Why aren\u2019t you sleeping around? Why? Why?\u2019 She was shaking him around and he looked so scared. Me and Naomi couldn\u2019t stop laughing for hours about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought it was a bit much, actually,\u201d Naomi Watts says, looking a little bit sheepish.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, you were the one that kicked him in the balls!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe ended up running off with Tracy [Marrow, who plays the mutated kangaroo Booga in the film] and we didn\u2019t see her again.\u201d
\n\u201cSomeone said they\u2019re going to make an album together,\u201d Naomi reveals.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, he\u2019s a fucking rock star now. None of this acting shit anymore.\u201d Lori takes a swig from her bottle of beer. \u201cMaybe we put him right the fuck off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe?\u201d pleads Naomi. \u201cDon\u2019t try and rope me into this. This is all your doing!\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/center><\/p>\n

Explosive hits that will blow you away!<\/strong><\/p>\n

12 amazing songs from the Tank Girl soundtrack.<\/em><\/p>\n

Bjurk<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aArmy Of Me
\nPortishead<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aIt\u2019s A Fire
\nThrowing Muses<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aCounting Backwards
\nHole<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aYou Know You\u2019re Right
\nL7<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aShitlist
\nAngel \u2018Corpus\u2019 Christi<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aMe And My Beretta
\nRuby<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aParaffin
\nMerrill Nisker<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aStressed Out
\nPolly Harvey<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aRub It Until It Bleeds
\nEthyl Meatplow<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aQueenie
\nWhale<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aHobo Humpin\u2019 Slobo Bitch
\nHope Sandoval And The \u2019Mazing Stars<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aLet\u2019s Do It (Let\u2019s Fall In Love)<\/p>\n

*<\/center><\/p>\n

Even here, three months out from release, the intensity of the hype and desire for this film is incredible. Everywhere you go there\u2019s people talking about it. You can\u2019t turn on the TV without seeing it being discussed, dissected, vilified and vaunted in equal measure.<\/p>\n

So one last question, did you know what you were getting yourselves into when you signed up for this?<\/p>\n

\u201cWe did,\u201d says Tank Girl. \u201cWe definitely fucking did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd we love it,\u201d agrees Jet Girl. \u201cIt\u2019s fucking brilliant.\u201d<\/p>\n

One of their assistants pops their head round the door and tells the two of them they\u2019re needed back on set for the last few hours of filming.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go blow something up!\u201d<\/p>\n

And they do. Or will. With Tank Girl<\/em> they\u2019re going to leave the entire world aflame in their wake.<\/p>\n

***<\/center><\/p>\n

Doctor Who And The Reconfiguration Of An Icon (pages 34\u201341)<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s been six long years since Doctor Who last leapt through the dimensions of space, time and mind. But now he\u2019s back, and everything you think you know about him is set to change. We meet Shaun Bean on the set of the Doctor\u2019s most spectacular adventure yet. Words:<\/em> David N. Golder.<\/strong> Imagery:<\/em> Ken Russell<\/strong><\/p>\n

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There\u2019s been rumours of a TV adaptation of Doctor Who<\/em> for almost as long as the character\u2019s been in existence. As far back as the early 1960s there was talks between C. Staples Lewis and the BBC about a possible show, but his untimely death and the sale of the rights to Tandem (who wanted to concentrate on the written word) put paid to that.<\/p>\n

In the years since there\u2019s been many more almost-adaptations, most famously the failed Peter Cushing movie in the 1980s which, despite being finished, never made its way to the screen. But now, here, finally, it\u2019s all definitely coming together.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re on a closed set in Cardiff, located somewhere deep inside the vast complex of hangars and corridors that make up the impressive and iconic Harlech Television Centre. Around us trundle terrifying robots, harassed production assistants, and what resemble gigantic animatronic crabs.<\/p>\n

This might be Shaun Bean\u2019s first big television role (he\u2019s most famous here in the UK for his appearances in the Jim Henson Storyteller<\/em> series, but he also had a recurring role as the Lighthouse keeper in the Irish version of Fraggle Rock)<\/em>, yet he almost got his big break two years ago.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was cast as Richard Sharpe in the BBC series [of the same name], but had to drop out after two days because I broke my bloody ankle playing football with some of the lads from the production team,\u201d Shaun wistfully recalls. \u201cI know it\u2019s hard to imagine anyone but Paul [McGann] in the role now, but I\u2019d have been bloody great. I really believe that.\u201d<\/p>\n

But the Napoleonic War\u2019s loss is space\u2019s gain. They\u2019ve only filmed a handful of episodes so far, but already it is apparent from the performances I\u2019ve witnessed on set that Shaun has brought an incredible presence to the role. A brash but charming rogue one moment, a coldly calculating and deeply alien presence the next, and all dressed up in garb that\u2019s half Victorian gent, half gameskeeper. It\u2019s a brilliant creation, although I\u2019m finding it hard to pin down exactly which configuration of the Doctor this incarnation is supposed to be.<\/p>\n

\u201cEver since I\u2019ve been cast people have been asking me, \u2018So, which Doctor will you be?\u2019 or \u2018Oh, which companion are you going to have?\u2019 And I keep having to tell them this isn\u2019t that sort of adaptation. This is the start of something new.\u201d<\/p>\n

So this isn\u2019t going to be a straight adaptation of the novels, but something more?<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right. We didn\u2019t want this to just be a great bloody re-hash of all the stories everyone already knows. \u2018Oh look, it\u2019s the Makra!\u2019 Or Aslan and all those bloody Narns again.\u201d Shaun laughs deeply. \u201cWe can travel through the whole of the galaxy. It\u2019d be a bit of a waste if every week we just kept on meeting the same few foes over and over again. Although we do actually have an episode with the Makra in.\u201d<\/p>\n

It is to this end that the writers of the series have brought in a number of respected science fiction writers including Terry Nation, Terrance Dicks and Terald Vaak, and between them they\u2019ve devised a number of new foes that everyone involved in the show are deeply enthused about. These include the Daleks, relentlessly evil metallic monsters with a radiation-twisted mutant at their heart; the Automotons, a race of robots constructed from living plastic; and the Siborgs, half-human-half-robot terrors that are heavily reminiscent of the classic Star Trek enemy the Cybermen.<\/p>\n

The producers are quick to rebuff any suggestion of similarities, however. \u201cThey are completely different,\u201d explains Terry Nation. \u201cStar Trek\u2019s Cybermen are a completely alien race, whereas our Siborgs are actually humans. They\u2019re us! It\u2019s a comment on technology and individuality. There\u2019s lots of emotional pull there that you just couldn\u2019t do if they were a relentless evil from beyond the stars.\u201d<\/p>\n

I ask director Ken Russell about the episode they\u2019re currently filming. \u201cThe Doctor\u2019s being attacked by snakes today. It\u2019s pretty great. At the end they discover the snakes are allergic to bagpipes, and everyone has a good old toot.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shaun, shifting nervously in his chair, tries to explain. \u201cIt\u2019s not the best synopsis, I know. Ken\u2019s just trying to unsettle you. And well, it\u2019s not the best episode, either, I admit. But it has its charms.\u201d<\/p>\n

The latest script Shaun\u2019s received is much more to his liking.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe TARDIS emerges in a nunnery in the 17th century, and, being the Doctor, he can\u2019t stop showing them the limitations of their beliefs. It\u2019s pretty moving. The priesthood accuse him of heresy and send him to the torture chamber to repent, but of course he won\u2019t.\u201d Shaun shakes his head. \u201cI haven\u2019t got to the end yet but I can\u2019t wait to see how he gets out of there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shaun is also eager to talk about his co-star, Joely Richardson, who plays the Doctor\u2019s new companion, coyly referred to merely as \u201cthe lady\u201d in the promotional material issued to the press thus far.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe first worked together on The Storyteller,\u201d Shaun tells me. \u201cI think we\u2019ve got a great chemistry up there on the screen. I think it\u2019s going to prove a shock for many of our viewers. But hopefully an enjoyable one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Is Shaun hinting here at an on-screen romance for the Doctor? Before he can answer a flustered PR manager hurries in and tells him it\u2019s time to go. I have time for just one more question.<\/p>\n

So, Shaun, if you really could go anywhere in all the dimensions of time, space and mind, where would it be you\u2019d go? He doesn\u2019t even have to think about it.<\/p>\n

\u201cHillsborough, definitely,\u201d he says. \u201cEvery Saturday afternoon, cheering the Owls on. There\u2019s some earthly pleasures that even the heavens can\u2019t provide.\u201d<\/p>\n

Doctor Who will be appearing on ITV this time next year.<\/em><\/p>\n

***<\/center><\/p>\n

The Many Convolutions Of Space, Time And Mind: A Brief History Of Doctor Who<\/strong><\/p>\n

1 April, 1938:<\/strong> The Silent Planet<\/em>, a science fiction novel by C. Staples Lewis, is published, but is not a great success. This novel (and its three sequels) differ greatly in many ways from the subsequent stylings and lore the series would take on\u200a\u2014\u200athe TARDIS is a rocket ship that mechanically travels through space, there is no mention of time travel at all, and, although it is never clearly stated, the Doctor appears to simply be a regular human being.<\/p>\n

16th October, 1950:<\/strong> Doctor Who And The Narns<\/em> is published, and immediately becomes a bestseller. A re-fashioning of themes and characters taken from his earlier Space Quartet<\/em> and aimed at younger readers, the book is an unexpected success. It is in Doctor Who And The Narns<\/em> that many of the most well-known elements in the series are introduced\u200a\u2014\u200athe TARDIS can change its appearance at will and allows for instantaneous travel through time and space; the Doctor is accompanied by a number of travelling companions, including his granddaughter Susan Pevensie; the Doctor dies at the hands of Jadis and is \u201creborn\u201d, revealing his Time Lord identity\u200a\u2014\u200aand many consider this the true beginning of the series.<\/p>\n

4th September, 1956:<\/strong> Doctor Who And The Last Best Religion<\/em>, the seventh and final book in the Narn Chronicles, is published. It goes on to win the Carnegie Medal for the best Children\u2019s Book by a Subject Of Her Majesty\u2019s Empires, as well as the 1957 Hugo Awards for Best Novel, Best Short Story (for the Reader\u2019s Digest version) and Best Artist (for illustrator Pauline Baynes). It was nominated for, but did not win, the 1957 James Tait Black Memorial Prize in the Biography category.<\/p>\n

16th June, 1962:<\/strong> C. Staples Lewis agrees to sell the rights to his Doctor Who series to Tandem Books, a publishing company based in London. This not only allows them to publish the existing books, but also grants them the right to produce derivative material of their own under their Target imprint. The first product released under the deal is a toy wardrobe that, due to the clever use of mirrors and a hollow plinth, appears to be much deeper inside than the outside would suggest.<\/p>\n

22nd November, 1963:<\/strong> C. Staples Lewis dies after many years of ill-health. He was 64.<\/p>\n

23rd November, 1963:<\/strong> Doctor Who And The Drowning World<\/em> by James Ballard is rush-released to a grieving public. This is a landmark moment in the history of Doctor Who for a number of reasons\u200a\u2014\u200anot only is it the first Doctor Who novel not written by C. Staples Lewis, it is the beginning of Tandem\u2019s aggressive expansion of its newly licenced property which will lead to an explosion of novels by a vast array of writers over the coming years.<\/p>\n

In addition, this novel is our first introduction to what will eventually become many of the most recognisable recurrent characters in the Doctor Who mythos: namely, UNIT (and its members the Brigadier, Beatrice Dahl, Sergeant Benton, etc) and the Strangman, the Doctor\u2019s Time Lord rival and nemesis. Many say this was the beginning of the Silver Age of Doctor Who.<\/p>\n

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October 1969:<\/strong> Doctor Who And The Final Programme<\/em> by MJ Moorcock is released to much acclaim. First appearance of longtime companion Una Persson, and also the first use of the term \u201creconfiguration\u201d to describe the Doctor\u2019s death and rebirth cycle.<\/p>\n

[MJ Moorcock went on to write three more Doctor Who novels, the last of which was Doctor Who And The Music Hall Condition<\/em> (1977), which went on to win the Guardian Fiction Prize later that year. Less successfully, Moorcock temporarily joined the Space Psych group Hawkmoon, and together they released the rock opera Doctor Who On The Edge Of Time<\/em> in 1975. Lemmy Kilmister, who left the band later that year and found greater fame as guitarist for Girlschool, famously described the record as \u201ca lot of fucking rubbish.\u201d]<\/p>\n

October 1972: <\/strong>Doctor Who And The Infernal Machines Of Desire<\/em> by Angela Carter is released, to widespread dismay and confusion. In a significant departure for the series, Doctor Who is the antagonist rather than the protagonist and barely appears. Carter said her intention with this novel was to \u201ccut like a steel blade at the base of [the Doctor\u2019s] penis.\u201d Reviled at the time, it is now considered to be one of the classics of the series.<\/p>\n

26th February, 1977:<\/strong> The Una Persson Adventures, a spinoff series of comics featuring the Doctor\u2019s iconic companion, begins in the newly-launched weekly British dystopian comic, The Beano<\/em>.<\/p>\n

8th March, 1978:<\/strong> Doctor Who leaps the dimensions from written words to spoken words as he makes his debut on BBC Radio 4. Broadcast thrice-weekly in five minute episodes, the show, penned by Douglas Adams, runs for 11 years.<\/p>\n

October 1983:<\/strong> Doctor Who And The Garden Of The Grani<\/em>, the first ever Doctor Who videogame, is released on the BBC Micro and the Dragon 32. The game, in which the Doctor must attempt to rescue several of his companions while avoiding a terrifying witch, proves to be so frightening that it leads to the oft-quoted myth that children were only able to play it while \u201chiding under their desks\u201d.<\/p>\n

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1985:<\/strong> An Adventure In Time<\/em>, a big-budget Hollywood adaptation of the franchise, begins production. Despite a high profile cast, including Lord Peter Cushing as the Doctor and William Hootkins as Biggles, and a promising appearance at Cannes, the picture will never be released.<\/p>\n

6th December, 1989:<\/strong> The 1,764th and last episode of Doctor Who is broadcast on Radio 4. The show ends with the famous opening dialogue from the very first episode\u200a\u2014\u200a\u201cLook, I don\u2019t know where you got your strange ideas about time from, but it wasn\u2019t from me!\u201d The BBC subsequently begin a re-broadcast of the entire run of the show, and it continues in its regular slot to this very day.<\/p>\n

May, 1996:<\/strong> After nearly seven years of inaction (assuming things all go to plan) Doctor Who will return. His long-awaited TV debut is set for broadcast in the Saturday teatime slot on ITV sometime next spring (exact times and dates will vary by region).<\/p>\n

***<\/center><\/p>\n

First Fit: Doctor Who And The Convolutions Of Time (a transcript of the original broadcast on Radio 4 on the 8th March, 1978)<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Doctor Who theme tune plays<\/em><\/p>\n

Narrator:<\/strong> Doctor Who And The Convolutions Of Time. Written by Douglas Adams, and starring Geoffrey McGivern as Doctor Who, and Simon Jones as Arthur.<\/p>\n

The theme tune fades out as Doctor Who begins to speak.<\/em><\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Look, I don\u2019t know where you got your strange ideas about time from, but it wasn\u2019t from me. It just wouldn\u2019t make sense to meet yourself. Time would have to be crystalline in structure, everything fixed like some sort of rigid multidimensional molecule. How tedious!<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> I don\u2019t really see why that would follow.<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Of course it follows! If you met yourself than either you or your other self, depending on which way round it was, would have to do everything exactly right from that point on to ensure that that thing happened. It\u2019s absurd. The chances of all that happening by chance are so vanishingly remote as to be irrelevant. I\u2019m telling you, it\u2019d have to mean that the universe is one big time crystal.<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> Well, maybe it is?<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Don\u2019t you want free will?<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> I\u2019m not sure it matters at all what I want.<\/p>\n

Doctor Who: <\/strong>Very good. And anyway, that\u2019s not all. Say you did meet yourself, what then? What if you gave yourself something from the future, which you then kept with you into the future, until you went back into the past to give it to yourself?<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> Like what?<\/p>\n

Doctor Who: Oh, I don\u2019t know. Like this 50p someone\u2019s left on the worktop. Here!<\/p>\n

We hear the 50p being flicked into the air, and Arthur catching it.<\/em><\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Now then, how old is that 50p?<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> It says it was made in 1974. So\u2026 wait, what year are we in now?<\/p>\n

Doctor Who: <\/strong>No, no! I mean in our example. I\u2019ve given it to you, now you go back one week, and give it to me. How old is it by the time I give it back to you.<\/p>\n

Arthur: <\/strong>Two weeks?<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Yes, very good. But then, you go back in time, give it to yourself, who then gives it to me, who then gives it to you, and so on and so on and so on, until\u2026?<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> It becomes\u2026 infinitely old.<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Yes, see, like I told you, absurd. There\u2019s no way round the infinite age paradox. If cyclical time travel like that was possible we\u2019d have infinitely old atoms everywhere and then where would we be? Or when! We\u2019d never know.<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> So you\u2019re telling me that you\u2019ve never gone back and met earlier versions of yourself.<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Of course not. The universe is in a constant state of flux. Everything affecting everything else in cascades of absurd complexity. It\u2019s beautiful and wonderful. Every time you step outside the TARDIS it\u2019s into a whole new adventure. Never the same creatures, never the same planets. Always something wonderfully bafflingly beautifully new!<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> But what about those photos you were showing me of all of you together that time?<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Anomalies.<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> Anomalies? You can\u2019t expect me to believe that.<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> I could expect you to believe anything.<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> Doctor, please, I\u2019m English.<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> I bet you\u2019ve never even built yourself a toy time machine.<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> Well, no, but\u2026<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> But\u2026?<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> Look, it\u2019s just\u2026 It doesn\u2019t sound right. If everything\u2019s always changing, what\u2019s the point of doing anything? What\u2019s the point of trying to change things?<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> What\u2019s the point of not?
\n
\nAn old fashioned mechanical alarm clock starts ringing.<\/em><\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Right, we\u2019re here! Hurry up, Arthur.<\/p>\n

The doors of the TARDIS creak open.<\/em><\/p>\n

Arthur: <\/strong>Doctor, where are we?<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Victorian London, of course.<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> Victorian London? That sounds quite nice.<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Nice? What if it\u2019s a Victorian London populated entirely by clockwork vampires?<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> Oh, I don\u2019t know\u2026 Also, Doctor, about that chaotic universe stuff\u2026 Does that mean now we\u2019re in Victorian London I can never go home again because everything in the future will have changed? Hey! Hey, Doctor? Where are you going? You\u2019re not going out there are you?<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Listen!<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> What?<\/p>\n

A bell tolls again and again in the distance.<\/em><\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> They\u2019re just church bells, Doctor.<\/p>\n

Doctor Who: <\/strong>Exactly. Now why would there be church bells in a city of vampires?<\/p>\n

Arthur: <\/strong>Doctor, are there really clockwork vampires? Doctor?<\/p>\n

We hear a high-pitched scream.<\/em><\/p>\n

The Doctor Who theme tune begins to play especially loudly<\/em><\/p>\n

Announcer:<\/strong> Next week on Doctor Who.<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> This is fascinating. Look at that monitor. Arthur! What are you doing? Look, will you put that 50p down and come over here.<\/p>\n

A 50p piece can be heard being slammed down onto a worktop.<\/em><\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> Doctor, I can\u2019t see a thing on this screen.<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> No, not that one. How could it be that one? It\u2019s covered in vampire oil, for god\u2019s sake. That one!<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> Doctor, that can\u2019t be right. It says we\u2019re in an older version of the TARDIS.<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Yes! Well, a slightly newer version, technically. A TARDIS from a whole week ago!<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> It\u2019s impossible. Surely if we were here then, we\u2019d have noticed us?<\/p>\n

Doctor Who:<\/strong> Quiet! Someone\u2019s coming. We better hide. It might be the Daleks<\/em>!<\/p>\n

Arthur:<\/strong> Who the hell are the Daleks<\/em>?<\/p>\n

The theme tune plays fairly loudly.<\/em><\/p>\n

Narrator:<\/strong> Tune in next week to discover what happens in\u2026 Doctor Who And The Unexpected Turn<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/center><\/p>\n

Iain F. Banks: A very Scottish science fiction writer with vast ambitions (pages 44\u201351)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Taking six years to write, Iain F. Banks\u2019s Culture\u2019s Dawn Trilogy will be nearly 3,000 pages long (more if you count the book of short stories) and it\u2019s about nothing less than the end of life as we know it. Mary Branscombe<\/em> interrupted the author at his labours to find out where he gets his sense of scale.<\/em><\/p>\n

Iain F. Banks is fond of combining disaster with science fiction. He bought his first computer in 1984\u200a\u2014\u200a\u201cas a 30th birthday present to myself\u201d\u200a\u2014\u200aand over the next two years accumulated \u201ca huge pile of rejected novels\u200a\u2014\u200astories nobody in their right mind wanted to read, stories about maggot-ridden skulls and castrated school-children and the like.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then he produced Complicity<\/em> (Abacus, 1986). The book started his career, as well as that of his iconic character Cameron Colley, an ex-journalist turned private detective with a telepathic implant in a tropical Scotland rescued by global warming.<\/p>\n

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Before he sold Complicity<\/em> to Abacus, Banks was repeatedly told that the book was too close to home and that there wasn\u2019t much of a market for \u2018Fife Fiction\u2019 but as a Fife man \u201cborn and bred!\u201d he couldn\u2019t see the problem. \u201cI sent Complicity<\/em> to one agent and it came back \u2018this is unpublishable, it\u2019s too parochial\u2019. People have been very curious\u200a\u2014\u200awhy set it in Fife? Well, why not! I\u2019m sure that if I\u2019d set Complicity<\/em> and the same problems in somewhere like Los Angeles or even London people wouldn\u2019t have raised an eyebrow but they don\u2019t seem to associate countryside Scotland with the future. It\u2019s very strange! I can\u2019t quite work out why\u200a\u2014\u200ait\u2019s almost as if they don\u2019t expect us to have a future, don\u2019t expect us to be any different than we are today. It\u2019s nice to visit London but I wouldn\u2019t want to live there.\u201d<\/p>\n

The other disadvantage was Cameron Colley\u2019s politics. As Banks puts it, Colley was \u201con the side of the right-wing at the time\u201d and he starts the book tracking down the corrupt socialists who have brought the country to its knees. Having been vilified on occasion for sharing Colley\u2019s views, Banks is keen to point out that such comments are rather wide of the mark. \u201cIt\u2019s certainly not any kind of polemic\u200a\u2014\u200ait\u2019s basically a detective thriller series, I wasn\u2019t trying to make any great political points at all.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe thing with the Colley book was, obviously, once you\u2019ve got the background you have to stick to it. Complicity<\/em> was conceived in the late 80s, the days of the Kinnock government and Thatcher\u2019s opposition, and whatever you might think about her failings as a party leader, her failure to compromise, her failure to win elections\u200a\u2014\u200ashe was<\/em> principled in her opposition, she was<\/em> genuine in her conservatism. Whereas today we\u2019ve got Blair at the podium shouting across the house at Portillo and really who can tell them apart? Quite why they haven\u2019t both defected to the Liberal Democrats, I don\u2019t know\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

After Complicity<\/em> and the runaway success of its (still ongoing) BBC adaptation, Banks felt that another Colley story would leave him \u201cvery much stuck in a rut\u201d. And so he moved on.<\/p>\n

Larger and larger<\/strong><\/p>\n

In 1987, Iain F. Banks turned to a larger stage\u200a\u2014\u200aand much larger books. Consider Phlebas<\/em> is an epic space opera dealing with alien civilisations, convicts, colonists and smugglers plus a nightmare taking over the galaxy\u200a\u2014\u200aand it runs to 950 pages. He has just produced the second book, the 996-page Use Of Weapons<\/em> and promises the third volume of the Culture\u2019s Dawn<\/em> trilogy, Excession<\/em>, before the end of next year. Quite a way from those rejected novels.<\/p>\n

The hefty tomes of Culture\u2019s Dawn<\/em> are set further into the future and far from sticking to Fife, they roam right across the galaxy; by the end of book two, we haven\u2019t actually got to Earth yet. Space battles, fantastic weapons and galactic empires\u200a\u2014\u200athere\u2019s more than a touch of space opera here. But don\u2019t go expecting a light-hearted romp where the heroes can\u2019t lose, though.
\n\u201cIf you have a society as big and as powerful as this Culture, it really does have to be something quite out of the ordinary to threaten such a society. They have tremendous industrial and military resources available to them, yet they\u2019re caught on the hop by this menace [Al Capone].\u201d<\/p>\n

And larger even yet<\/strong><\/p>\n

The latest rumours are that there is \u201csome interest\u201d in doing a film of the whole Culture\u2019s Dawn<\/em> trilogy, which could take quite a while. Banks is dubious as to whether they could manage it. \u201cWell, there\u2019s interest, but we\u2019re pretty much at the \u2018wait and see\u2019 stage. I can\u2019t quite see them filming the whole series\u200a\u2014\u200aI mean we\u2019ve all seen Dune<\/em>, and even across three films they struggled to fit everything in, and they only had a single book to adapt. Whereas Culture\u2019s Dawn<\/em>\u2026 it\u2019ll be three times as long by the time it\u2019s finished. I can\u2019t see anyone making nine films in one series!<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are probably sections you could take out of it and film but I think filming the actual entire story is pretty much a no-no\u200a\u2014\u200aunfortunately. You\u2019d need several hours\u200a\u2014\u200aseveral tens of hours\u200a\u2014\u200aand an awful lot of special effects. I think filming the entire trilogy is out but you can pick sections out, which is presumably what they\u2019ll eventually do, I suppose. Squeeze it into a single overstuffed film.\u201d<\/p>\n

In fact he doesn\u2019t sound too pleased at the idea. \u201cIt would have to be mutilated. And given how much I\u2019ve put into it all and then seeing bits pulled out\u2026 I suppose seeing bits of it would be better than none at all. But, unlike Dune<\/em>, I can\u2019t help but think it\u2019d end up being incoherent crap.\u201d<\/p>\n

However, with his usual ingenuity, Iain F. Banks has the perfect answer\u200a\u2014\u200atechnology to the rescue. \u201cI think in ten years time when you can just feed a book straight into a computer and have it turn it into a virtual reality by simple processing power\u200a\u2014\u200amaybe that\u2019s the thing to wait for.\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/center><\/p>\n

A Bold Voyage Into The Unknown (pages 56\u201359)<\/strong><\/p>\n

With Star Trek: Next Generation reaching its conclusion last year after nine glorious seasons, television has seemed a little duller in the interim. But now Star Trek is back with a new series, a new ship, a new crew, and even a new Riker. David N. Guy<\/strong> investigates.<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s been a long year and a half since Star Trek: Next Generation<\/em> finished. Something as successful as Star Trek was never going to be gone from our screens for long, but even so, television has seemed a little duller in the interim. Every Wednesday evening for the last 18 months has seen me pining by the TV, desperately longing for its return. But there\u2019s also been a touch of fear in there, too\u200a\u2014\u200awhat if, when it returns, it\u2019s all a bit of a disappointment? And with early word from the States that Star Trek: Voyager<\/em> is unlike anything seen in the Trek universe before, my apprehension had been building for a while.<\/p>\n

But all those worries were swept away when I was shown the first few episodes of Voyager at a special press event in London recently, and my fears were further assuaged in my subsequent conversations with returning Next Generation star Jonathan Frakes and the new series\u2019 head writer, Christopher Priest.<\/p>\n

When I explain to them how nervous I had been about the new series, Jonathan Frakes, especially, is sympathetic to my initial unease.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe know we\u2019ve got a lot to live up to with this. And although we knew we could just come back with the same old stuff\u200a\u2014\u200aa new ship and a new crew but the same sort of adventures\u200a\u2014\u200awe wanted to give everyone something different. So we spent quite a long time searching for something entirely different, something that would give us a whole new way at looking at Star Trek, while retaining the core experience that our fans all know and love. So we needed something not just with great characters and great enemies, but something that also went deeper than that.\u201d<\/p>\n

The backroom staff at the show had been working on ideas for a Next Generation spin-off series for some time, as far back as 1991 if some reports are to be believed. But no real progress was ever made and tension was said to be running high at Paramount that they would be without a successor when Picard et al finally hung up their uniforms in 1994 after an incredible 221 episodes. Just in time, however, the premise of the new series was brought to them by veteran British science fiction writer Christopher Priest.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were so excited when Chris showed up with these ideas. Everyone was a huge fan of his work, especially Short Circuit<\/em> [winner of the Hugo Award for Best Novelisation in 1987]. That book was such a huge influence on Next Generation, not only on Data, obviously, but also on the slow expansion over the years of Majel [Barrett]\u2019s role as the Enterprise,\u201d says Frakes. \u201cSo it was a huge honour to discover Riker was central to his plans, as I thought my days on the show had come to an end [with the conclusion of Next Generation].\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d always been fascinated with the transporters in Star Trek,\u201d Christopher Priest announces. \u201cHow did they work? What happened to you when you stepped into the beam? Was that really you when you rematerialised on the other side? Or was it someone else? It seemed like every time you stepped onto that transporter pad you\u2019d be crippled by some existential crisis, but no-one ever batted an eyelid and that seemed incredibly strange to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

But that all changed when he watched the sixth season episode Our Two Rikers<\/em>, where it is discovered that a duplicate of Jonathan Frake\u2019s iconic First Officer had been created in a transporter accident ten years before.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat episode showed to me that my ideas about the transporter had been right all along. Yet still, in the episode, they both quickly come to terms with this scenario [of a duplicate Riker], and so does everyone else. The second Riker leaves for his new job aboard the Voyager and the next week everything\u2019s back to normal and they all go back to being obliterated and reborn in that transporter beam without a second thought. There\u2019s no thought to what they\u2019re doing to themselves, and similarly, no thought to the actual potential of this incredible duplication device they have.\u201d He shakes his head in astonished wonder. \u201cBut I couldn\u2019t stop thinking about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

And so to Star Trek: Voyager<\/em>. The set-up is this: while engaged in a battle with (long-running NG antagonists) the Cardassians in a disputed area of space, both ships tumble through a wormhole and find themselves stranded in an unexplored and hostile region of space thousands of years away from home. With supplies low, limited crew and the Cardassian ship beyond repair, the two long-time enemies decide to team up and work together on the Voyager for their long journey home.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019ve got this great set-up,\u201d enthuses Frakes. \u201cThe ordered, friendly, cosy world of the Enterprise is gone, and here you\u2019ve got this messy reality of isolation, distrust, and a genuine fear that all is lost. It definitely sets it apart from any Star Trek that\u2019s gone before. They have to question everything about the rules of the Federation, about what you need to give up and what you need to change to survive when you\u2019re on your own. And also what you need to hold on to\u200a\u2014\u200awhat are the essential things that make the Federation the Federation, that make you you<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Into this comes W. Thomas Riker. Still haunted by his ten years of solitude in Our Two Rikers<\/em>, and faced with a small crew and the utter hostility of the territory around them, Thomas comes up with a terrible, essential plan.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe takes advantage of the new situation on the ship to get himself in the position of having total control over the transporters,\u201d Christopher Priest outlines. \u201cAnd, using the knowledge he\u2019sgained analysing his transporter accident all those years ago, every time a crew member transports off the ship, he creates a duplicate of them, which he keeps in stasis until the original\u200a\u2014\u200awell I say original, but as we show they are both<\/em> duplicates, there is no original\u200a\u2014\u200abut he keeps one in stasis on the ship, and lets the other go down to wherever it is they\u2019re going to that week. If the other returns safely, he can transport the stasis-held one out into space. But if there\u2019s an accident on the planet, he can transport the perfectly preserved stasis body to the infirmary. Of course, eventually, this leads to a whole new world of problems, for both Riker and the rest crew.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything Riker does here is motivated by his desire to keep the crew safe,\u201d Frakes explains. \u201cBut he knows that this plan of his is somewhat unethical, and so he does what he can to keep it a secret from everyone. It doesn\u2019t happen straight away, but things eventually come to a head.\u201d<\/p>\n

In America the show is already into its mid-season hiatus, and from what we\u2019ve heard so far this is quite an understatement. And although we don\u2019t want to give away too many of the shows secrets, it\u2019s certainly, shall we say, notable<\/em> how many of the principle cast (Linda Hamilton, Jeremy London, Clare Buckfield, Kim Deal) just happen to be identical twins in real life.<\/p>\n

As you can see from that list, Star Trek: Voyager<\/em> also re-unites Jonathan Frakes with his long-time Beauty and the Beast<\/em> co-star Linda Hamilton, a move that has certainly got fans talking.<\/p>\n

\u201cIts great to be working with her again,\u201d Jonathan says. \u201cWe had such a good time on that show. Those.. was it four years? [Editor\u2019s note:<\/em> It was 2 years] They were incredible years for both of us, really.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, is there going to be any romance between your characters?<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what everyone wants to know, isn\u2019t it?\u201d he chuckles. \u201cBut no, Riker, he might be a different man now, but he\u2019s still the same Riker at heart. He respects the chain of command too much to try and romance a superior officer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead, W. Thomas Riker has his sights set on the returning Seska, in a continuation of the burgeoning on-screen romance between the characters towards the tail end of Next Generation<\/em>\u2019s run.<\/p>\n

\u201cActually, it\u2019s not a continuation of that at all. That was William Riker. Thomas Riker has never met Seska before. He was either trapped in that cave all the time, or on a different ship. So for him it\u2019s entirely new. As for Seska, who knows what her true motives are!\u201d<\/p>\n

So with two characters from Next Generation in there so far, is there any scope for others to return?<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure,\u201d Riker admits. \u201cIt\u2019d be great, but I\u2019m not sure if any of them would have the time. They\u2019re all quite busy these days, from what I hear. If you\u2019ve won an Oscar [like NG<\/em>\u2019s Marina Sirtis did early this year for her lead role in Running Down That Hill: The Kate Bush Story<\/em>] you\u2019re probably not going to have much interest in going back to the grind of a weekly television series.\u201d<\/p>\n

There\u2019s just time for one last question. Considering William T. Riker spent nine years as First Officer on the Enterprise, and now W. Thomas Riker is set for another long stint as Transporter Chief on the Voyager, is he ever<\/em> going to get to sit in the Captain\u2019s chair?<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he sighs. \u201cI really don\u2019t. I\u2019d like him to.\u201d He pauses for a second and then smiles that wonderful Riker smile. \u201cMaybe he can rig the transporters to duplicate the entire ship. Create ourselves an entire fleet out there in the Gamma Quadrant. An infinity of Rikers. Wouldn\u2019t that be something!\u201d<\/p>\n

Star Trek: Voyager begins on BSB One in August, every Wednesday at 6pm.<\/em><\/p>\n

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Meet the new crew\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

Captain Elizabeth Janeway <\/strong>(Linda Hamilton)\u200a\u2014\u200aAn all-action Captain in the mold of Kirk, Janeway\u2019s fierce demeanour and incredible fighting prowess make her a match for almost anyone.
\nTransporter Chief W. Thomas Riker<\/strong> (Jonathan Frakes)\u200a\u2014\u200aNot the Riker we know, but still a Riker to love. But just what will the crew say when they find out what it is he\u2019s up to with those transporters\u2026<\/p>\n

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Lieutenant Chakotay<\/strong> (Michael Horse)\u200a\u2014\u200aA tough but likeable senior officer, he is always the first to support Captain Janeway in whatever decisions she makes.<\/p>\n

Science Officer Tuvok<\/strong> (Mae Jemison)\u200a\u2014\u200aAnother Vulcan science officer aboard a Federation starship, but this one\u2019s played by an actual real-life astronaut.<\/p>\n

Navigator Tim Paris<\/strong> (Jeremy London)\u200a\u2014\u200aAn ace pilot with a bad attitude, Paris is sure to be a new fan favourite.<\/p>\n

Chief Engineer Belony Torres<\/strong> (Kim Deal)\u200a\u2014\u200aA Klingon warrior who believes there is no greater honour in battle than that of repairing the warp coils while being showered in sparks.<\/p>\n

Ensign Harrold \u2018Harry\u2019 Kim<\/strong> (Benedict Wong)\u200a\u2014\u200aAn inexperienced recent recruit who initially struggles with the responsibilities thrust upon him due to the heavy casualties aboard the Voyager. Distrustful of the new Cardassian doctor, he is currently working on a Medical robot of his own to replace him.<\/p>\n

Gul Macet<\/strong> (Marc Alaimo)\u200a\u2014\u200aCaptain of the Cardassian vessel, he agrees to call a truce and to work with Janeway as her new First Officer.<\/p>\n

Chief Medical Officer Garak<\/strong> (Andrew Robinson)\u200a\u2014\u200aA jocular Cardassian medical professional who seems to know a worrying amount about human anatomy.<\/p>\n

Glinn Seska<\/strong> (Michelle Forbes)\u200a\u2014\u200aSeska originally appeared in several Next Generation episodes as Ensign Ro Laren, a seemingly Bajoran crew member who is in reality a genetically altered Cardassian spy. Here we finally see her in her true Cardassian form in her new role as head of security aboard the Voyager.<\/p>\n

Lamia<\/strong> (Clare Buckfield)\u200a\u2014\u200aThe last survivor of an alien race (the Espers) native to the Gamma Quadrant, Lamia possesses great, almost mystical, power in her tiny frame. Rescued in the pilot episode from her tyrannical slave master, Neelix (one of the series\u2019 ongoing recurring villains, who wishes to use her powers for evil), Lamia\u2019s extensive local knowledge helps provide the crew with important information on a weekly basis.<\/p>\n

***<\/center><\/p>\n

Reviews and Previews (pages 91\u201396)<\/strong><\/p>\n

TV Review by Rich Pelley – The X-Files (Episodes 1\u20136)<\/strong><\/p>\n

This neat twist on the mismatched buddy-cop genre sees the sombre and sceptical FBI Agent Scully (Gillian Anderson) paired with the unhinged monomaniac Agent Jeffries (David Bowie) as they travel the country investigating so-called \u201cX\u201d files, unfathomable crimes that have flummoxed traditional law enforcement agencies. These early episodes see them dispatched to the small mining town of Twin Peaks in order to investigate the brutal murder of a popular schoolgirl, an investigation which only leads them on to more bizarre and disturbing discoveries by the week. Amidst their dealings with unhelpful locals, incompetent police officers, mysterious apparitions in the woods, and an infestation of owls, they also finding themselves battling against the sinister manipulations of shadowy government figures such as The Man From Another Place.<\/p>\n

It has been 6 years since director David Lynch finished work on his triumphant Dune<\/em> series, and considering their critical and commercial success it is strange indeed that the project he has chosen for his return is what at first appears to be little more than a traditional detective series. And yet within the constraints of the format he has, in these first few episodes of the series, managed to produce a small miracle, showing not only the disquieting horror that lurks frequently beneath the quirky surface of quintessential rural American (and Canadan) towns, but also the endemic corruption and sociopathic nihilism to be found within the American government itself.<\/p>\n

A timely show, and a terrifying one.<\/p>\n

*<\/center><\/p>\n

TV Preview by Staff N. Agencies – Red Dwarf Series 7<\/p>\n

Red Dwarf<\/em> is back for a seventh series this month, so here\u2019s a sneak preview of every episode of the upcoming series.<\/p>\n

\u201cMen of Letters\u201d<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200afollowing a disturbing and rude game of Scrabble, Rimmer and Lister argue over who will write an article for Holly\u2019s centenary edition of the Red Dwarf magazine, in front of the Cat.<\/p>\n

\u201cA Star Is Born\u201d<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aRimmer joins a the ship\u2019s defunct amateur dramatic society, in which he will perform every role of their final play, Guilt: The Hologram\u2019s Burden.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, What a Beautiful Mourning\u201d<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aa supply probe delivers news that Arnold\u2019s eldest brother, John, has died, and although the thought of another Rimmer funeral depresses Lister, by the end of all the aggro both Rimmer and Lister agree that the funeral was worth going to.<\/p>\n

\u201cLive Now, P.A.Y.E. Later\u201d<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aLister discovers that Rimmer has \u201cforgotten\u201d to inform the tax department that he has died. They need to get their story straight before the taxman visits.<\/p>\n

\u201cLoathe Story\u201d<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aRimmer tries to murder Lister in his sleep, and is forced to visit a holographic psychiatrist to get to the root of his antagonism towards his roommate. Joanna Lumley guest stars.<\/p>\n

\u201cDivided We Stand\u201d<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aafter Rimmer argues with Lister over the correct way to decorate their room, he builds a wall through the ship to separate himself from Lister, but even across the divide they end up falling out with each other.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Desperate Hours\u201d<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aLister and Rimmer struggle to keep warm in their freezing stranded ship, until they get some unexpected visitors. Guest starring J.G. Devlin and Leonard Rossiter.<\/p>\n

Red Dwarf is on every Thursday at 9pm on BBC 2<\/em><\/p>\n

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Film Reviews by Peter Bradshaw<\/strong><\/p>\n

Desperate Dan<\/strong><\/p>\n

Country:<\/strong> US, Runtime:<\/strong> 95 minutes, Director:<\/strong> Danny Cannon, Starring:<\/strong> Sylvester Stallone, Rob Schneider, Ewan Bremner, Keith Allen.<\/p>\n

This big-budget Hollywood blockbuster based on the titular iconicly-chinned British comics\u2019 legend has long been touted as being the biggest film of the year, so imagine our astonishment when it not only lives up to the hype but surpasses it in every possible way.<\/p>\n

For those unfamiliar with the comic strip, Desperate Dan (Stallone) is a former criminal turned law enforcer in a dystopian hellscape, roaming around an apocalyptic wasteland attempting to dispense justice and bring order to an increasingly chaotic world.
\nThe dense world and idiosyncratic humour of Desperate Dan<\/em>, developed over so many years in the strip\u2019s almost 60 year long run in The Dandy<\/em>, has mostly survived its American transition intact, although there does appear to have been an unfortunate confusion somewhere along the line concerning Dan\u2019s predilection for eating cow pies that renders several scenes quite difficult to watch.<\/p>\n

JUDGE DREAD<\/strong><\/p>\n

Country:<\/strong> UK, Runtime:<\/strong> 95 minutes, Director:<\/strong> Danny Boyle, Starring:<\/strong> Sylvester Stallone, Ewan Bremner, Keith Allen<\/p>\n

This low-budget British shocker concerning the fascist antics of a morally uncompromising judge has long been a cause for outrage and consternation in the mainstream press in the build up to its release, so there is no small amount of pleasure in the discovery that this film is every bit as outrageous as they had long feared.<\/p>\n

After a long and distinguished career in the ineffective \u201csoft-touch\u201d judiciary system of a \u2018near-future\u2019 Britain, Judge Dread (Stallone) finds himself (along with all his colleagues) out of work when it is decided that the sentencing of criminals can be carried out by a computer programmed with a full list of laws, term limits, and other legalistic minutiae. Yet, inevitably, things go wrong when the incompetent Minister of Justice sets the Electric Judge to its most lenient settings in an attempt to save millions from the budget by reducing prison costs.<\/p>\n

And so only one man can save the nation. A terrifying figure of implacable moral firmness, the Judge\u200a\u2014\u200ahis face, except for his mouth, entirely obscured by his ceremonial wig of office\u200a\u2014\u200awalks the streets of Mega-City Four as not only Judge but Jury, Executioner and Coroner, striking out at those that flout the law of the land with the crushing uncaring force of an entire state. Murderers, rapists, children playing football beneath a NO BALL GAMES sign\u200a\u2014\u200ano-one is safe from the Judge\u2019s commitment to the law, nor from the demented fury of his \u2018Lawbringer\u2019, a gavel of incredible strength and power that only he can wield.<\/p>\n

The final scene, in which the triumphant Judge Dread sits in his chambers and\u200a\u2014\u200asafe in the knowledge that he has finally restored order to the lawful but lifeless country outside\u200a\u2014\u200aremoves his wig, revealing there is no face beneath the mask just more and more chin in every direction, manages to be one of the most disquieting scenes of the year, while also leaving the door open for a welcome exploration of his origins in the inevitable sequel.<\/p>\n

*<\/center><\/p>\n

New Media Reviews by Paul \u2018Chewton\u2019 Rose<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Nintendo Play Station has been out since Christmas in Japan, so it\u2019s possible many of you have sampled the delights of its launch line up already. For the rest of us mere mortals, here\u2019s a quick rundown of some of the highlights in the run-up to its much anticipated UK launch in late August.<\/em><\/p>\n

Super Mario Station<\/strong> (Format: NPS, Developer: Nintendo READ, Publisher: Nintendo)<\/p>\n

The most eagerly awaited of the launch games, and undoubtedly the best, Super Mario Station<\/em>, in which the traditional 2D platform gameplay of the original Mario games is translated seamlessly into a more expansive 3D environment, isn\u2019t just a great launch game but a genuine landmark in video game.<\/p>\n

The move to a fully 3D world hasn\u2019t hampered Mario\u2019s jumpin\u2019 skills in the slightest, and here the tubby mechanic traverses a rich re-creation of various \u2018station\u2019-based locales\u200a\u2014\u200aa Tokyo bus station, a New York train station, a far future space station, and even, in one of the games subtlest jokes, a stationery store (although one wonders how this pun worked in Japanese).<\/p>\n

The subtlety of movement offered up fully justifies Nintendo\u2019s controversial new controller and the analogue control stick technology licensed from Dragon Data allows Mario to vary his speed and direction at will with remarkable precision.<\/p>\n

The story, such as it is, attempts to tie the various levels together by providing the merest figleaf of narrative\u200a\u2014\u200ait\u2019s the Duchess\u2019s birthday and Mario must travel from his home to her castle in time for her party. But unfortunately his nemesis, the giant turtle Kerog, has stolen Mario\u2019s map and so he embarks on a convoluted route across the world in an attempt to find his own way there.<\/p>\n

But you can forget about all that, just as the game frequently does, and concentrate on what Mario does best\u200a\u2014\u200ajumping, eating, hollering and whooping his way through a merrily technicoloured world with a gleeful all-Italian joy.<\/p>\n

10\/10<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ridge Racer <\/strong>(Format: NPS, Developer: Namco, Publisher: Namco)<\/p>\n

Whenever I stop at the services when driving home along the M4, it always seems strange to me how many people seem to be playing the driving games in the amusements section there. You\u2019d think they\u2019d be sick of driving by then, but no, there\u2019s always a queue of people lined up hoping for the chance to sit in a pretend plastic car and tootle around yet more roads for 50p a go, presumably seduced by the no-doubt cathartic pleasures of driving along picturesque roads under pristine blue skies.<\/p>\n

Here, in the comfort of your own home, and without the desperate need for a cup of coffee and a stretch of your legs before another 3 hours on the highway, the appeal seems somewhat greater, and for a while sliding and slipping your way round 90 degree corners without every touching the brakes is a genuine thrill.<\/p>\n

But without the ever-present threat of running out of 50p pieces\u200a\u2014\u200aor, more likely, pound coins these days\u200a\u2014\u200aor a baying crowd of impatient commuters harrying you away from the machine every couple of minutes, you quickly notice just how little content there is in this package, and the joys of driving through a disconcertingly empty city soon begin to pall.<\/p>\n

7\/10<\/strong><\/p>\n

F-Zero2<\/strong> (Format: NPS, Developer: Psygnosis, Publisher: Nintendo)<\/p>\n

This sequel to Nintendo\u2019s futuristic speed racing classic has been, somewhat surprisingly, developed by longtime British coding-house legends Psygnosis. But any reservations you might have had about whether they\u2019d be up to the task slip away almost as quickly as your hovercar roars away from the starting line, and soon you\u2019re bouncing round mobius strips and klein bottles at the speed of light and all you can think is \u201cWow\u201d. If you can think at all in the adrenal rush of it, that is.<\/p>\n

And with a soundtrack of classic underground club hits from the likes of The Shamen, Adamski, Enigma, 2 Unlimited, D:Ream and others (the only blemish being the risible Doctor Whooooooooo? Doctor Who!<\/em> by ironic art-joke project The K-Foundation) this game surely proves that videogames are, finally, cool as fuck.<\/p>\n

8\/10<\/strong><\/p>\n

And the ones to avoid\u2026.<\/p>\n

Street Fighter: The Game<\/strong> (Format: NPS, Developer: Ocean, Publisher: Capcom)<\/p>\n

Based on the movie of the same name, Street Fighter: The Game<\/em> the game is an utterly terrible product in almost every way. You play as one of two playable characters (brash American airforce pilot Ken or enthusiastic Hong Kong cop J. Chen) and must fight your way through a roster of ugly and witless nationalistic and racial stereotypes, including a monstrously obese Japanese sumo, an emaciated Indian Jainist, a Russian cossack dancer, a bowler-hatted English woman, and a feral child from the Brazilian favelas.<\/p>\n

With a limited moveset, glacial movement speed, and controls simply unsuitable for analogue inputs, this game is a disgracefully rushed tie-in product even by the standards of shamefully rushed tie-in products, the likes of which we had hoped Ocean had put behind them long ago.<\/p>\n

The final pisscherry on the shitcake is the price, with the game costing an extortionate \u00a369.99, a move the publishers have tried to explain by referencing the sheer size of the program (it comes on 12 CD-ROMs, one for each adversary). But rather than justify the price this extruded packaging merely highlights the problems all the more, the constant disc swapping reducing the game to a constant stop-start that hampers any immersion a single disc version might\u200a\u2014\u200abut probably wouldn\u2019t\u200a\u2014\u200ahave allowed.
\nNot only is this game an unfitting tribute to a classic film, in the way the marketing bills this as the final performance by Kylie Minogue (who was tragically murdered at the hands of her lover shortly after the movie\u2019s release), it is also proves to be a tasteless desecration of her memory and a cynical exploitation of her enduring popularity.<\/p>\n

1\/10<\/strong><\/p>\n

Parodius Collection<\/strong> (Format: NPS, Developer: Konami, Publisher: Konami)<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t go back again. That\u2019s what I couldn\u2019t stop thinking while playing this traditional 2D scrolling shoot \u2019em down. A year ago, heck, even a month ago, this would have felt like a perfectly enjoyable diversion, but now I\u2019ve seen the freedom of higher dimensions, being trapped in this 2D plane felt so constraining I almost screamed. Why can\u2019t I fly into the screen, I kept asking myself, setting out towards the tantalising mysteries dotted along the distant horizon? Or swoop above it, turning my craft up at the sky so as to catch a glimpse of an impossibly full moon? And what is in front of the screen, I wonder,. What would I see if I could turn my craft towards me and look directly into my front room?<\/p>\n

But instead you and your craft are resolutely stuck in that single plane, trapped on a interminably slow crawl forward, unable even to turn round and fly back the way you came. It induced in my that same sort of feeling of immobility you get when you\u2019ve got a sore neck and suddenly find you can\u2019t look left. And when you want to look left no amount of sexy cartoon octopii directly in front of you will sate your desire for turning round, just once, to catch a hopeful glimpse of something new.<\/p>\n

2\/10<\/strong><\/p>\n

***<\/center><\/p>\n

And before we go\u2026 A Quick Chat With GRR Martin (page 98)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Acclaimed science fiction writer GRR (George Ray-Rick) Martin was passing by our offices on his way north for the 53rd World Science Fiction Convention in Glasgow. We sent David N. Guy<\/strong> outside to have a quick word.<\/em><\/p>\n

DNG:<\/strong> Hi, George. First I would just like to say what a huge fan of yours I am\u2026<\/p>\n

GRRM:<\/strong> Well, thank you. That\u2019s very kind of you to say.<\/p>\n

DNG:<\/strong> \u2026which makes it all the more disappointing to me that with your new novel you have abandoned the world of science fiction for the inferior genre of fantasy.<\/p>\n

GRRM:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think \u2014<\/p>\n

DNG:<\/strong> It\u2019s made me very sad.<\/p>\n

GRRM:<\/strong> You know I\u2019ve written fantasy [The Kings Of Sand, the Beauty and the Beast tv series] before, right? I find it very strange that anyone would not see science fiction and fantasy as both part of the same world of imaginative fiction.<\/p>\n

DNG:<\/strong> But fantasy is just terrible. Made up rubbish. There\u2019s a reason this is a science fiction magazine, you know? I just don\u2019t understand the point of it. No one does, surely? I think C. Staples Lewis said it best when he said to [J. Reuel] Tolkien, \u201cWhat the fuck is this piss, John? Get the hell out of my pub.\u201d<\/p>\n

GRRM:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think\u2014<\/p>\n

DNG:<\/strong> You keep saying you don\u2019t think. Well, maybe you should think! About what you\u2019re writing. What\u2019s the point of reading something if it\u2019s just made up? You can make anything up. \u201cOh, look, we were all saved by magic!\u201d How convenient. You could have said that at the start of the book and saved me all this wasted time.<\/p>\n

GRRM:<\/strong> And science fiction isn\u2019t made up?<\/p>\n

DNG:<\/strong> It is made up but it\u2019s made up according to rules. The rules of science. Look at the TARDIS. It might seem like nonsense, like magic\u200a\u2014\u200aI mean, a wardrobe that leads to other worlds and other times? \u201cIt\u2019s absurd,\u201d you say. \u201cIt\u2019s a fantasy!\u201d But it is actually a very interesting scientific idea. We know space is malleable and deformable, so who is to say that time isn\u2019t as well. And that one day we might not be able to control these forces and condense them down into something that resembles a mundane piece of bedroom furniture.<\/p>\n

GRRM:<\/strong> So you believe that Doctor Who And The Last Best Religion<\/em>, say, is an example of something that could really happen. Am I right in saying that you see it as a possible future, rather than an as allegory of belief? That\u2019s very interesting. You know that Aslan is supposed to be \u2014<\/p>\n

DNG:<\/strong> A robot! Aslan is a robot. Created by Azros, The King From Beyond The Sea (And Above The Skies), using the brain of his poor son, Aslad, born without a body but with a soul greater than any of our own. And, as you well know, robots and cyborgs are not only scientifically plausible, but some would say scientifically inevitable. Unlike dragons.<\/p>\n

GRRM:<\/strong> I\u2019m not sure a dragon is any more implausible than, say, a dinosaur.<\/p>\n

DNG:<\/strong> They don\u2019t have a dragon skeleton in the main hall of the Natural History Museum, do they? They\u2019ve got a Brontosaurus! And some sort of giant sloth.<\/p>\n

GRRM:<\/strong> But dragons \u2014<\/p>\n

DNG:<\/strong> I hate dragons! Hate them. And if you like dinosaurs so much, why not make the dragons [in your book] pterodactyls instead?<\/p>\n

GRRM:<\/strong> So if you imagine that every time I\u2019ve written the word \u2018dragon\u2019 I\u2019ve really written \u2018pterodactyl\u2019 instead, would that make you happy?<\/p>\n

DNG:<\/strong> It\u2019d certainly be better. You\u2019d still have to explain why there\u2019s all these pterodactyls flying around, though. Perhaps there has been a deformation of time somewhere\u2026<\/p>\n

GRRM<\/strong>: Or maybe they\u2019re all on a distant planet.<\/p>\n

DNG:<\/strong> Yes. YES! I like the sound of that. A distant planet which is being used as some sort of space zoo by a mysterious race of ancient interstellar beings to preserve all the extinct animals throughout earth history. And humans are there because we\u2019ve destroyed our home planet through our hubris and incompetence. Yes, that sounds wonderful. Very interesting and very plausible.<\/p>\n

GRRM: Okay. But what about all the zombies?<\/p>\n

DNG:<\/strong> There\u2019s nothing wrong with zombies, is there? They\u2019re definitely plausible. And therefore definitely science fiction. Everybody loves zombies, surely?<\/p>\n

GRR Martin\u2019s The Dragon Who Just Wanted To Sleep will be released next year.<\/em><\/p>\n

__________<\/p>\n

Notes:<\/em><\/p>\n

1. This was mostly written in January and February 2016<\/em>
\n2. Except the Douglas Adams Doctor Who script, which was written in July 2014<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br>

Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Iconic British science fiction magazine SXFX celebrates its 23rd anniversary later this year, so here\u2019s a quick look back at some of the articles from the rarely seen and much sought after first issue. *** Tankbuster (pages 18\u201327) Since 1988, Tank Girl and Jet Girl have been tearing up British comics with their full frontal […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[385],"tags":[397,394,224,395,398,392,387,393,390,181,389,386,388],"class_list":["post-1098","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sxfx","tag-angela-carter","tag-cs-lewis","tag-doctor-who","tag-douglas-adams","tag-geoge-rr-martin","tag-jg-ballard","tag-magazines","tag-michael-moorcock","tag-red-dwarf","tag-science-fiction","tag-star-trek","tag-sxfx","tag-tank-girl"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1098","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1098"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1098\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5121,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1098\/revisions\/5121"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1098"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1098"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1098"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}